Incognito
by ncfan
Summary: -Ishida x Orihime, Rukia- Rukia follows Ishida and Orihime on a date. Companion fic to 'In Search of War Stories'.


**Characters**: Rukia, Ishida, Orihime**  
Summary**: Rukia follows Ishida and Orihime on a date.**  
Pairings**: IshiHime**  
Warnings/Spoilers**: No spoilers**  
Timeline**: No timeline needed**  
Author's Note**: I have this mental image of Rukia hiding behind a potted plant in a restaurant, conducting surveillance on unsuspecting customers. Come on, we've all pictured Rukia doing something similar at some point in time. Oh, it's not indisputable, but if any of you have read my oneshot _In Search of War Stories_, you can consider this a branch off of Rukia's comment in the last paragraph.**  
Disclaimer**: I don't own Bleach.

* * *

When she first hears about it, all Rukia can think is that it's about time; she'd been waiting and watching with bated breath for months for the two of them to finally wise up, and was beginning to despair of there ever being a resolution to the problem at hand. If things had gotten bad enough she would have had to take drastic steps and play matchmaker with _them_ too, the way she had done (or tried to do) with Kira and Hinamori. That had not gone well.

As it is, Rukia is glad, in a scheming sort of Rukia way, that Ishida finally worked up the nerve to ask Orihime out. She really was going to have to take steps if he took much longer.

Of course, now what needs to be done is quite simple, as Rukia packs a notepad and a pen into her pocket and sets out.

She smiles over-sweetly.

She's going to follow them and make sure she _really_ doesn't have to take steps.

Now, all she has to figure out is where on earth are they going, anyway.

.

_The restaurant is pretty low-end but since Ishida's hardly what anyone would call independently wealthy (I'm assuming he's the one who's paying; he'd __better__ be the one who's paying; if not I'm really going to have to question his morals) I think it can be excused. It's only a first date, after all, and from my studies I've surmised that first dates don't have to be too fancy. Inoue doesn't seem unhappy with the venue, anyway; that's all that matters._

_I've taken up a prime position for surveillance and am observing them now. I can't hear what they're talking about from where I am but if I try to move there's a good possibility I'll be spotted (if not by Ishida or Inoue than by someone working here and I __really__ don't want that to happen), so I'll just have to guess._

_I'll write more when I have something._

From her position hiding in a particularly bushy plastic potted plant (Rukia _knew_ that camouflage print clothing she bought had to be good for something), Rukia spies out the table where Ishida and Orihime are sitting, near a window. Thanks to the dark red brick walls the lighting's not very good but Rukia's eyesight has never failed her before, so she has no difficulty in watching them.

The pen and notepad are whipped out again, as Rukia scribbles furiously onto the page, then, after some writing, flips over to a new one.

_All's good so far. The waiter hasn't gotten to them yet, so they're just talking now._

_Interesting… Ishida smiles more when he talks to Inoue. Of course, she's just said something, seems to be laughing, and he just looked away. I didn't know someone's face could get so red, and what a foolish looking smile. It would be kind of cute if he didn't look like such a dork when he does that._

_Then again, he still looks kind of cute when he smiles like that, even if he does look like the Supreme Ruler of Dork-Land._

Rukia squints at them for a little while longer (she's tempted to bite off her tongue in frustration when the waiter finally shows up and gets in the way of her line of sight) before writing again.

_Okay, they've given their orders to the waiter. Nothing seems to be going wrong; the horizon's still clear. Inoue's chattering as usual; Ishida seems content to let her talk. Smart man._

A spark of curiosity hits her, along with frustration at some odd quirk of Ishida's.

_What is it with Ishida and being totally incapable of making eye contact with __anyone__ he's talking to, especially Inoue? Is it really that hard for him to look someone in the eye when he's talking to them? But considering that the only person Ishida ever had prolonged contact during childhood with was father (and I've met him; he's one scary man), I can see why he might have difficulty making eye contact with others._

_It's still pretty frustrating, though. He's lucky Inoue's so understanding; I would have smacked him upside the head to get him to look at me by now._

_I wonder what they're talking about. I've __never__ seen Ishida talk so much before._

.

The smell of food emanating from the kitchen reminds Rukia of how hungry she is; she was so eager to follow _'the two lovebirds, and I say this with the most sarcasm possible'_ around on their date that she forgot to eat supper.

Rukia is miserable as she listens to her stomach growl and watches Orihime and Ishida eat. She hopes they'll be done soon, if only so she can get something to eat.

_My stomach informs me that it wants its supper break __now__, but I must persevere if I want to see how this ends. I will not give myself over to my hunger._

_Ishida's finally looking at her now; it's about time he started making eye contact. God, he's making eyes at her the exact same way he does in class. If that boy were any more obvious there'd be a neon sign over him. For all that he's so reserved, Ishida is painfully obvious when it comes to these things. Probably the lack of experience talking._

_As for Inoue… Wait, wait, what's she doing?_

Rukia's mouth splits into a wide grin. She's writing so hard she's surprised the other people in the restaurant can't hear her.

_Ah hah, she just touched his hand! Finally!_

The sheer saccharine saturation of cuteness at Orihime's smile and Ishida's reaction threatens to make Rukia forget herself and go full-on giddy. Ishida certainly looks a little giddy.

But then, Rukia's stomach growls insistently and whatever chance she had to be giddy evaporates into unhappy stomach pains. _Okay, I can't ignore this anymore._

She bites her lip, remembering seeing a vending machine just outside of the restaurant. _It'll only take a minute, _Rukia reasons with herself. _I can get in and out before they leave. I know I can._

.

Rukia feels much better once she has a chocolate bar in her stomach, and heads back into the restaurant to resume surveillance on her two unsuspecting subjects.

What she finds (or rather, _doesn't _find) makes her blood run cold.

They're gone. They've left the tip on the table and walked straight out.

_What the Hell! I was only gone five minutes…or maybe ten. Where did they go?_

Rukia forces herself to think rationally. It's too cold outside to really go anywhere like the park, so that's definitely out. And Ishida doesn't like movie theaters, so that's probably out too, unless Orihime's managed to wheedle and coax and talk him into it, which Rukia supposes could happen; she's seen her do it to Ishida before, and can't help but wonder if Orihime _isn't_ as clueless as everyone thinks she is; she plainly knows that Ishida finds it near-impossible to say no to her. But Ishida's especially (_As in even more stubborn than normal_, Rukia thinks with a roll of the eyes) stubborn about movie theaters, so he'd probably be able to resist Orihime's feminine wiles about that, at least.

So they've probably started to walk home. Ishida, being the old-fashioned chivalrous type that he is, probably volunteered to walk Orihime home before setting out for his own apartment.

Rukia sighs and thanks whatever benevolent force that lives above that her hopes for the night have not been completely ruined.

She proceeds to tear out of the restaurant at top speed, much to the confusion of the customers and the much-harried waiter, who is the only one working the tables tonight.

.

The sun going down casts a deep crimson red light over the town but Rukia has no difficulty seeing where she's going as she speeds down the sidewalks, accidentally pushing some poor pedestrian laden down with paper bags from the grocery store out into the street.

The obscenities traveling after Rukia when a glass bottle of milk shatters on the road don't bear repeating.

When she finally spots Orihime's head of copper red hair again, she slows down and skirts to the shadows, knowing better than to put herself in the position in the position where one of them might spot her; Orihime will probably be forgiving but God only knows what Ishida would do to her if he caught her spying on him and Orihime on a date.

They're walking quite slowly at a leisurely pace, never touching but still close together. Again, Rukia rolls her eyes and bites back a sardonic smile that Ishida's the sort that won't so much as touch a woman (well, not like _that_ anyway) unless he's seriously involved with them; as far as Rukia can tell, he's just really awkward, shy and somewhat squeamish when it comes to women. She's always been able to get a private kick at how he acts around Orihime.

Voices float back towards Rukia but she can only catch snatches of their conversation; mostly mundane stuff, probably deliberate. Ishida's voice is barely audible as opposed to Orihime's chirpy but also unusually low tones.

When they finally stop walking, under a street lamp (Rukia would shake her head at the cliché if it didn't provide such good lighting in which to watch them), she scoots into an alleyway and watches them with her head poking out, wielding notepad and pen again.

_I wish I could get closer so I could hear what they're talking about; why must this town be cursed with so few hiding spots? I'll just have to make the best of it._

_Inoue's just smiled at something Ishida said, and he…_

Rukia's tempted to start screaming. Orihime smiles expectantly up at him and all Ishida does is look away, blushing again.

_Now don't start __that__ again! Ishida, you idiot! Are you blind, man? Can you not see that she wants you to kiss her? Kiss her, you idiot, kiss her!_

Ishida does nothing of the sort (though he seems to be seriously considering it for a moment), and Rukia fumes.

_I had no idea your emotional growth was so stunted. _That's a blatant lie, at least.

Furious, Rukia starts to stalk off, writing off Ishida as a hopeless case, but in the shadows of the alley isn't watching where she's going.

It's all she can do not to keep herself from shrieking out loud as she falls into a metal trash can, and the lid slams shut above her.

_Well, at least it's empty._

.

The garbage can stinks but it is, much to Rukia's relief, empty of all putrid, rotting garbage. This is but a minor setback but more than anything else serves to convince her that now might be the time to throw in the towel; spying on two human teenagers is getting dangerous.

She stretches her arms up, and tries to lever herself out of the can.

And finds she can't.

_I'm stuck! _Rukia realizes with horror. Her small fingers scratch against the aluminum can but to no avail.

_How do I get myself _into_ these messes?_

Rukia weighs her options. She can wait for whoever lives in the alleyway apartment who owns the trash can to find her (which could take days) or she can scream and holler and pray Orihime or Ishida can hear her. If it's the latter, Ishida may well make her wish she had waited for the owner of the trashcan, and either way whoever finds her will find her in a woefully undignified position, legs splayed upwards in the can.

All she really knows is that she has to get out before the garbage truck comes.

The specter of waiting hours, even days in the trash can waiting for someone to find her looms over Rukia and, after a mere mind-blowing second of contemplation, she throws all caution to the wind and starts to scream at the top of her lungs.

She's not sure she _cares_ how Ishida will react.

.

Rukia smiles nervously when the lid of the trash can flips open and she faces Orihime's startled brown eyes and Ishida's thunderstruck blue ones. Standing behind Ishida Orihime has a hand clapped over her mouth, though from the way her eyes crinkle around the edges, she's probably hiding amusement.

Ishida…not so much.

"Kuchiki-san?" Orihime sounds confused.

"Do you mind?" Ishida demands, exasperated. He's giving her the sort of look one would expect a cat to give a mouse before it decided to play with the screaming, dying mouse before biting its neck.

Rukia meets his gaze levelly. "Would _you_ mind getting me out of here?"

He frowns, eyes narrowing suspiciously. Rukia resists groaning. She was afraid his intellect would lead him to this conclusion. "How long have you been following us?"

There's no use lying. _One_ of them at least would be able to tell. "All night," Rukia admits, glaring up at him. "Now could you please get me out of here?"

At this, Orihime and Ishida share a long, silent look. Eventually, a smile grows across Orihime's face, and Ishida smiles too.

Rukia doesn't like the look of those smiles.

"Guys?" she asks cautiously, starting to get worried.

The last thing she sees is Ishida wrapping an arm around Orihime's shoulders before he matter-of-factly slams the trash can lid back down and they walk away.

"Hey!"

If either Orihime or Ishida can hear Rukia as they walk off, they don't show it. They're more than used to making the best of situations, and they _won't _let a little snag like discovering a spy ruin their evening.

Rukia, plunged back into darkness, vows that she will never forgive them for this, and starts to scream for someone, _anyone_, to hear her and get her out.

She doesn't care if they find her in an undignified position.


End file.
